


After The Seam

by Madam_Pince



Category: The Magicians (TV)
Genre: Episode: s05e03 The Mountain of Ghosts, Fix-It, Letter, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Moving On, Peaches and Plums (The Magicians), Post-Season/Series 04 Finale, Quentin Coldwater Before He Went to the Seam, Requited Love, The Letter, Underworld, before he went to the seam, the Seam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-26
Updated: 2021-01-26
Packaged: 2021-03-12 01:40:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29002359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Madam_Pince/pseuds/Madam_Pince
Summary: Quentin receives Eliot's letter in the Underworld.------------Q -First things first. When you get to the seam, don’t hesitate. Throw the monsters in and get the fuck out. Everett will follow you. You must be gone before he arrives or you will die.Quentin stared at the words incredulously. His eyes stung with tears as he kept reading.Second things second, Q.... I love you.
Relationships: Quentin Coldwater/Eliot Waugh
Comments: 5
Kudos: 52





	After The Seam

Quentin turned to look at penny. “I- I don’t think I’m ready yet. Something doesn’t feel right.”

Penny looked at him, eyes squinting. “You’re right, Quentin. Give me a minute.” Penny shimmered away, leaving Quentin alone in the empty room. He put his hands in his pockets, and stared at the floor. _Was he really about to move on? Give up his life? Fillory? His love?_ His mind drifted to Alice and he grimaced. No, not Alice, _Eliot_. It had always been Eliot. Even as he tried to stop thinking of his beautiful friend, Quentin’s thoughts betrayed him. 

But Eliot didn’t love him. He’d said so. Despite the overwhelming evidence to the contrary, Eliot had said that he wouldn’t choose Quentin if he had had a choice. Quentin had been floored. Eliot thought that Q had a choice? _Eliot had said he bonded quickly._ That was nothing compared to Quentin. It was never a choice. Quentin loved Eliot from the moment he first saw him at Brakebills, but Eliot had made his decision and Quentin had to accept that. Maybe realizing that would help him finally move on. 

He needed to sit down. A chair materialized behind him and he gratefully fell into it, trying to get to work on letting the mere thought of Eliot go. But he just couldn’t do it. To erase Eliot would erase a part of him.

Penny returned after a few moments. “Hey, Quentin. Ah, I see you found a chair. Anyway, it seems that your soul wasn’t completely intact. Not to worry, I sense the missing piece returning any moment now.”

Quentin looked at him, his eyes unfocused and blurry. “OK”  
“Ah,” said Penny, “Here it is now.”

And sure enough, a small golden spark drifted down and settled itself squarely in Quentin’s chest. He sighed and stood up. He certainly did feel better, but not exactly ready to move on. He sank back into the chair, his hair framing his sallow face. 

Penny rolled his eyes. “What now, Coldwater?”  
“I just can’t-- I don’t know. Just give me a minute. I'm sure it will pass.”

Quentin sighed. His mind drifted to that scene by the fireplace back at Brakebills. He and Eliot were drunk on the floor. Quentin had wanted to kiss him so badly that night. _Why hadn't he?_ The image shifted, and Quentin was waking up in Eliot’s arms after a night he could barely remember. _He could have stayed, nestled into Eliot's warmth._ He thought back to his years at the mosaic. He should have told Eliot he loved him the second they arrived and every moment after. Quentin’s mind settled on the scene in the throne room after their return. “Proof of concept” He’d told Eliot, and Eliot had turned him down. _Why hadn’t he tried harder?_ And of all things, he had gone back to _Alice?!_ That didn’t even make _sense_. How could he even think of move on without having convinced Eliot he loved him?

Just then, an envelope fluttered down into Quentin’s lap. He stared at the handwriting. “To Quentin Coldwater, Before He Went To The Seam”. It was Eliot’s handwriting. _What was this?_ And why was it here _now?_

“Someone must have thrown it down after your soul.” Penny monotoned. “Forget about it. You’re complete, just move on.”

Quentin stared at his name on the paper in his lap. His hands trembled as he picked up the worn and worried envelope. He slid a slender finger under the seal, and lifted out the letter. The envelope drifted to the floor as Quentin unfolded the single piece of parchment.

> Q -  
>  First things first. When you get to the seam, don’t hesitate. Throw the monsters in and get the fuck out. Everett will follow you. You must be gone before he arrives or you will die.

Quentin stared at the words incredulously. His eyes stung with tears as he kept reading.

> Second things second, Q.... I love you. 

_What?!_ He read it again.

> ...I love you. I should have told you that day on the steps. I should have told you that day in the park.. I should have told you every day of our lives by the mosaic. I love you, Quentin Coldwater, and I need you to come back to me so I can tell you.
> 
> All my love, El.

Quentin let the paper fall to the floor. He let his head fall into his hands. Tears spilled out of his eyes. He couldn’t imagine the consequences if he had gotten that letter before going to the seam. _Would he have been able to do it? Could he have saved the world and lived with Eliot by his side?_ He couldn't bear to think that way. The harsh reality was that Quentin had saved his friends. He had saved his love. And his love had been _reciprocated_. Quentin blinked through his tears. 

_Eliot loves me._ Eliot _loves_ me. _Eliot_ loves me. Eliot loves _me_. Quentin stood and shook his head as though finally free of a great burden. He nodded at Penny and reached in his pocket for the metrocard. _What was a few more years?_

Quentin walked through the gateway, Eliot’s name on his lips. 

Eliot loved him. He loved Eliot. 

And soon he would tell him.


End file.
